Dear Garry Marshall,
I just saw New Year’s Eve and, lol, Love, Actually is still so much better. Did you know that Roger Ebert called this latest project of yours the “Ultimate Heads in Boxes Movie”? While we’re on the subject, what’s up with the champagne glasses on the lower left hand side of the poster? Did one of your stars drop out at the last minute? Couldn’t you have ‘shopped in Alyssa Milano? Or that kid from Wizards of Waverly Place?
Anyway, since it appears that you only pay attention to the big-ticket holidays and not the smaller, more obscure ones — lol, why the prejudice? — I’ve drafted a list of under-the-radar celebrations around which you can craft your next masterpiece. All of these exist, by the way:
Oh, in case you need more of these, there’s this great website called Google that seems to have the answers to, like, everything!
PS: I was hoping that, in some totally unexpected twist, someone would assassinate Lea Michele’s character while she was up on stage at Times Square. That would’ve been awesome, bro! But the blooper reel you snuck in at the end of the movie was good, too. You’re so artsy! Like, New Year’s Eve wasn’t commercial at all! Lol. When are you making the sequel to Georgia Rule?